FRED THOMPSON, NEW DARLING OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY

It looks as if Fred Thompson, the guy with the perpetual scowl on his face, will join the other idiots seeking the Republican Presidential nomination.

Thompson, the actor who can't decide if he wants to practice his craft in Hollywood or Washington D.C., is undergoing grooming by his handlers, much the same as a race horse, for a probable run.

Comparing him to a race horse is appropriate too since the Republican Party has a field of contenders bigger than this year's Kentucky Derby, who possess, in the aggregate, less intelligence than the ass of any one of the horses in that race.

There is another Thompson in the Republican stable, Tommy Thompson, who calls himself the "real" Thompson. I like him better, because he provides more entertainment with his never ending inane remarks, whereas Fred Thompson just makes, "tough" faces.

What a wonderful mess the Republican Party is in these days, being more disorganized than a Kindergarten class on recess.

Giuliani, an unaccomplished nasty bastard goes around explaining his views on abortion, Mitt Romney confesses to the world that he didn't have premarital sex, and John McCain, who still doesn't get it, continues aligning himself with the loser Bush's ideas.

So now we have Fred Thompson, another boot in the ass Conservative who appeals to the "thank you sir, may I please have another" set that begs for direction in all aspects of their lives, due to a lack of imagination and a fear of anything different.

Thompson has been undergoing disciplinary training under the auspices of Dominatrix Extraordinaire, Mistress Lynne Cheney, so he can come off as an even bigger son-of-a-bitch for the "I need a nanny" crowd of cowering, masochistic supplicants.

Next up for Thompson is an audience with former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher who will no doubt administer a sub-zero high colonic to Fred to purge him of any lingering Hollywoodisms that may still be tenaciously clinging to his alimentary tract.

Thatcher, at age 82, is the perfect headmistress to tutor a Republican Presidential contender. Totally devoid of any heart or soul, and hopelessly out of touch with both the masses, and reality of any type, she'll impart the kind of wisdom craved by devotees of the "never change anything, our Party leaders know what’s best for me," crowd.

All the Republican candidates want to be being likened to their ultimate hero, Ronald Reagan, and Fred Thompson is no different.

I think he has the inside track on this one.

After all, who's better than an 82-year-old, stuffy, upper-crust Englishwoman for teaching Thompson the ways of dementia, a la Reagan?